Boys Don't Cry
by Lady Aishiteru
Summary: In the aftermath of the infamous breakup, Serena finds herself searching for answers. Luna pen in hand, Serena decides to disappear for awhile....
1. Prologue

Boys Don't Cry: Prologue

Boys Don't Cry  
by [Lady Aishiteru][1]  
Prologue

"I'm sorry, Serena. We can't.....see each other anymore."

"But why, Darien?" Serena moaned, her eyes large and moist, tears flowing freely from them.

"Because," Darien said hoarsely. He had to turn his back to her; he couldn't stand to see her cry. Mustering up every ounce of will he had, he forced himself to grit out the next sentence. "I don't love you anymore."

"But we've....been together for so long! What about our past? It's destiny!"

"Past? Destiny? Those things happened a thousand years ago. I'm not going to let the past ruin our lives." With those harsh words, Darien hopped on his motorcycle and sped away on the rain-slicked pavement. 

He knew it was dangerous to be riding so fast in the rain, and it was even worse with his tear-impaired vision. But he didn't care. She was safe, safe from whatever horrible fate would await her if he had stayed a second longer. And that was all that mattered, he thought.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Serena continued to stand there, long after the motorcycle had crossed her line of vision. She stood poleaxed, in a complete state of shock. Rain pelted her scalp, ran in rivulets down her forehead and joined the tears that wouldn't stop. _'Ruin our lives?'_ she thought, failing to comprehend those words. How could he say something so awful? 

Ignoring the fact that she held an umbrella, she raced home as fast as her feet would carry her. She didn't know what she was going to do, but whatever it was, it wouldn't be easy.

She tripped on a crack in the sidewalk, and a fancy pen tumbled out of her knapsack. Then, a thought occurred to her. They couldn't see _each other_ anymore.....but what if she could see Darien without him knowing about it? She cradled the Luna Pen in her hands, and, despite the throbbing pain in her knee, laughed fiendishly. He would not escape her again. She raced home to get things started.

"There," Serena said to herself. "That should be the last of it." She closed her duffel bag and ran out into the night. When she arrived in Tokyo, Serena pulled her hair into a low ponytail and boarded a late night bus.

She wasn't sure where she would go, but she knew that if her plan was to work, Serena Tsukino would have to disappear for awhile. Serena had made sure that she had plenty of yen with her, and if she ran out, she could always find a part time job. She had left a note to her parents and Rini, but Serena knew that they would still worry about her. It couldn't be helped, she reflected. It was something she had to do. Something wasn't right, and Serena wouldn't give up until she had gotten to the bottom of it.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Darien woke up with a start, cold sweat pouring out of every oraface on his body. He didn't understand it. He had done what the dream had told him to do, even though it was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. He should be sleeping easily, now that Serena was supposedly out of harm's way. So why wouldn't the dreams stop?

He hadn't seem hide nor hair of Serena for almost a month now. Even Rini was clueless as to her whereabouts. He couldn't ask the Scouts. Every time he tried to talk to one of them, they'd look him in the eye, like he did something horribly wrong, then turn their backs and ignore him. He had searched all of her favorite hangouts, but it was no use; she was even absent from the Crown Arcade. It was as if Serena Tsukino no longer existed.

Darien stood up and looked at the moon from his window. _'Maybe someone out there has the answers,'_ he thought. Maybe someone could tell him why doing the right thing hurt so much, why it felt so wrong.

   [1]: mailto:



	2. Metamorphosis

Boys Don't Cry: Chapter 1 Boys Don't Cry  
[by Lady Aishiteru][1]  
Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. I do own this fic, though.

Sean folded the last shirt in the pile and wiped his forehead with his arm. _'Man, it's hot in here,_ he thought, wishing to the Powers that Be that someone would get around to fixing the air conditioning in the mall. It was ninety degrees outside, and that was in the shade. Inside, it wasn't any cooler.

The air conditioning had quit at noon, and the repair team was stuck in an elevator. Ironically, they needed another repair team to get them out. It was all a big headache, and much more than Sean really wanted to deal with. He wished the clothing department would allow them to move Casual Friday to Monday, and Tuesday as well, if the situation kep snowballing.

"Hey, Sean, it's closing time. You ready to go?" called a voice over his shoulder.

"Boss, I thought you'd never say that," he said, flashing a killer grin. He wrung the shirt of his uniform for emphasis.

"Sean Baker, you've got to stop calling me that," said the owner of the voice. She was about 5'7", long legged and slender, with cropped brown hair and high cheekbones. "My name is Linda, and hearing 'hey, boss' every hour is really grating on my nerves," she said, placing her hands on her hips.

"Whatever you say, boss," Sean said. Linda rolled her eyes and punched in the security codes for the alarm system.

"Sean, a couple of us management types were thinking of heading out for some coffee after work. Would you be interested in joining us?"

"No, thanks. I've got to get home." Sean replied. He shook his head when Linda's back was turned. Whenever Linda worked the same shift as him, she would always try to ask him out. He would always let her down gently, but it was clear to see that she wasn't picking up on his signals.

And she wasn't the only one. Ever since Sean had started this job a month ago, women were always hitting on him. He had gotten a job in the lingerie department due to his impressive knowledge of women's underthings. The interviewer had shaken her head, saying that he must have undressed many a woman to know as much about bras as he did. In response, Sean had just smiled, neither affirming nor denying. With his tall, triangular build, ocean blue eyes and platinum blonde hair, it was fair to assume that he had broken his share of hearts.

Sean hailed a cab and made his way to his apartment. He twirled his keys on his finger and opened the door. "Luceee, I'm hoooome!" he yelled. _'I always wanted to say that,'_ he thought, thankful that he lived alone.

Sean took a wide, pink pen out of his pocket and raised it into the air. Muscles became curves, and short, close cropped platinum locks became long, golden tresses topped off by a twin pair of odangos.

Serena hugged herself and collapsed on the floor, shivering from exhaustion. Using the Luna Pen for such extensive amounts of time really took a lot out of her, but it was a necessary evil. She walked over to her bathtub and fiddled with the tap until it produced lukewarm water. She took off her store uniform, sank into the tepid waters and sighed contentedly. Ah, this was the life.

Her application into Azabu had finally been accepted. She had received the response yesterday, and was very thankful for it. She thanked her lucky stars for whatever power had helped her with the application test; it was the most difficult thing she had ever had to do. Well, _second_ most difficult.

She was also thankful that the Luna Pen's transformation was complete, for Azabu was an all male academy. When she became Sean, she became him completely. Under the clothes, Sean was all man. Serena had to admit that certain details about male life had been difficult to adjust to at first. During her first week as Sean, she must have went into the ladies' room at least three times, not to mention the method of what happened once _inside_ the bathroom. Getting used to all of the female attention she had been receiving was also difficult. She hoped that she had never been that nauseatingly pretentious with Darien.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Darien walked slowly to school that morning, dragging his footsteps on the pavement. He had hoped that he would bump into Serena today, just as he had anticipated being knocked out cold by the Odango Express for every morning of the past month. He looked at his watch and sighed. He regretted that his mornings had been remarkably collision free.

_'Need....coffee....'_Darien's sleep deprived brain ground out. He decided to drop by the coffee shop for his daily dose of vitamin C - caffeine. He no longer visited the arcade in the mornings; it was too full of memories.

As he opened the door, he bumped into a tall, white haired stranger. "Excuse me," said the man.

He scratched his head as the newcomer walked past him. There was something familiar about that guy, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. "Hey!" he called out.

The stranger stopped, then pivoted on his heel so they were facing each other. "Yes?"

"Do I...know you from somewhere?" he asked.

At this, the stranger frowned and looked down at the ground. "No," he said, walking away. "We have never met."

"Well, we're wearing the same uniform. Can you at least tell me your name?"

"My name? Sean Baker."

"I'm Darien Shields. Nice to meet you." Sean looked like he was going to walk away again, so Darien spoke. "I don't usually do this, but would you like to walk to school with me?"

"Sure," Sean said, smiling. He felt a little nervous when he saw Darien smile back at him, a sight he had been aching to see for weeks. After all, he _was_ still Serena at heart. He wanted to get out the Luna pen, throw caution to the wind and kiss the sweet breath out of that gorgeous man walking next to him. His cheeks flamed bright red at the thought.

"Sean, you're blushing," Darien observed.

_'CRAP! Um....I forgot about that part!'_ thought Sean. It was far too early in the game to be discovered now!

"Penny for your thoughts?" asked Darien.

"I was just...thinking about...someone I miss," amended Sean, staring at a random crack in the sidewalk.

"Hn," said Darien, sounding pensive. Sean knew exactly what was inferred by that introspective "hn," but he decided not to press it. He knew from experience that if pressed too far, Darien would become more introverted, and he definetly didn't want that.

"Well, here we are. Since I'm guessing you're new here, would you like me to show you around?"

"Sure. Lead the way, Indiana Jones," he said, flashing a grin.

Darien smiled at Sean's dry sense of humor. He had only known him fifteen minutes, but he felt like he had known him his whole life. Already, he could see them becoming fast friends. "Any requests?"

"I've got a ton of them."

"Then we'll take it from the top."

"Well," said Sean, feeling a bit sheepish. "For starters, could you help me find my locker?

   [1]: mailto:lady_aisheteru@hotmail.com



	3. The Writing on the Wall

Boys Don't Cry

Boys Don't Cry By [Lady Aishiteru][1] Chapter 2

_ _

Darien pushed open the double doors that would grant him access to Azabu Academy."Ready?" he asked, flashing a grin to Sean.

"Ready as ever," said Sean, smiling back.

"Okay then.Where is your locker?"

"I was hoping you could tell me," said Sean, pulling out a small slip of paper.

_"Hn…this is strange.No kanji anywhere on this,"_ thought Darien.1 He arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow at his companion, who was twiddling his thumbs and staring at a fixed point on the walls."Looks like your locker is in the North Wing," he replied.

"And that is…where, exactly?"

Darien smiled."The lockers are arranged in alphabetical order.A-J is in the North Wing, K-R is in the East Wing, and S-Z is in the West Wing."

"What about the South Wing?" asked Sean.

"That's where the gym and the pool are," said Darien.

"Ah.That makes sense," said Sean, hoping he sounded fairly intelligent.He had forgotten how smart Darien was, and Sean knew that his own I.Q. wasn't in the same league as Darien's.He had the sickening feeling that he was in _way_ over his head.

"Don't worry about it.This school can be really confusing at first," said Darien."It took me a week to find all of my classes when I first started coming here."

_"Only a week?"_ Sean's frantic brain spurted out.On the outside, he grinned at Darien and said a casual "Ah," trying to control the shaking in his knees.

As they made their way to Sean's locker, he gazed at Darien's profile through his peripheral vision._"He's sexy from any angle," _reflected Sean.

In Sean's mind, Serena and Darien were running through a forest, cherry blossoms floating down on them.The air smelled like morning dew in the spring.In the forest, there existed only the two of them ...

"Sean?" questioned Darien.

"Hn?" he asked.

"We're here."

"Oh.Um…you have something on your face, by your lower lip."

Darien wiped the area with his hand, and then inspected his finger."Hn.I don't see anything."

"Don't worry.You got it," said Sean._"Yeah!Great save!"_

Darien looked at the locker number above them."Looks like your locker is right across the hall from mine," he said, gesturing behind his shoulder.

"Cool," said Sean.

"What do you have first period?"asked Darien.

Sean looked at his schedule printout he held in his hand."French," he said, making a face.

Darien laughed."It's not that hard.Hey, maybe you'll get a cute accent.Then you'll get all the girls."

"Ooh la la," Sean said without thinking, the sarcasm thick in his voice."I don't NEED any help in THAT department."

"Whatever you say, Don Juan," said Darien."Every guy needs a little help."

"Not _all _guys," Sean replied.

"Yeah, and I drive a BMW for the smooth, quiet ride," said Darien sardonically.

Sean smiled tightly, gritting his teeth.He didn't know that about Darien!

After they had arrived in Sean's French class, Darien started to walk away, then turned around. "Oh, Sean?" 

"Yeah?"

"Let me know if you need any help.In your classes, I mean.I run a study group after school."

Sean fought to control his excitement."Right.See you later," he said as casually as he could.

"Later," Darien repeated.

Sean stared after his back longingly, an unconscious habit.Sighing to himself, he walked over to his seat.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Darien smiled to himself as he walked over to his own class, attracting stares from curious denizens of the hallways.Sean was a little weird, but in a good way, definitely a good way.He seemed a little clueless, but Darien attributed that to normal freshman behavior.

His handwriting was a bit strange for a guy, though.While his own handwriting consisted of efficient, straight edges, Sean's was a bit sloppy, curvier and more open.Even stranger was the lack of _kanji_.How on earth did Sean get into Azabu without knowing how to write _kanji_?

Darien couldn't help but obsess over Sean's handwriting.It was in his mind during all of first period, through second and straight through lunchtime.He puzzled about it until the end of the day, and then he remembered that he would probably see Sean after school.He came to the conclusion that Sean had probably come to Azabu under an athletic or artistic scholarship.Filing away his hypothesis, he arrived at his locker.

"Hey, Darien.Long time no see," said Andrew.

"Hi, Andrew."

"I haven't seen you around lately.I'm worried about you," said Andrew in low tones.

"Me?I'm fine."

"Bullshit.You're not fine, and you know it."

"The psychology classes have gone to your head, Freud," spat out Darien.

"Hey, Darien.Who's this?" asked Sean, poking his head in.

Darien resisted the urge to wipe his forehead in relief."Oh, hey, Sean.This is Andrew.He works over at the Arcade on Crown Street."

"Hi, Andrew."

"Hi, Sean.Say, haven't I seen you before?"

"Me?Nah.Must have been somebody else."

"Hn," he said, scratching his head."You look a lot like my cousin," said Andrew.

"I get that a lot," said Sean."I must have one of those faces, I guess."

"Yeah," said Darien."Well, are you going to study group?"

"Are you kidding me?" blurted out Sean."I wouldn't miss it," he recovered.

"Great.Andrew, you coming?"

"Baka.You know that I'm in college."

"Well, you could always learn something new.This is Azabu, after all."

"I know that!I graduated from here last year, remember?" he said, knocking on Darien's forehead for emphasis.

"Hey!You're going to give me a headache!" protested Darien.

"I think I heard a distinctly hollow sound just now," said Sean.

Andrew laughed."Heh.He's got your warped sense of humor, Dare.Well, see you around.Nice meeting you, Sean."

"Same here," said Sean.It was nice to see Andrew again; he hadn't visited the arcade in ages.

"Do you need help getting to study group?"

"How'd you guess?" asked Sean.

"Just a hunch," said Darien.

"Does this school come with a map?"

"Yeah, but I doubt you'd find it helpful," said Darien."It's written in _kanji_."

Sean's eyes widened.The jig was up!

Before Sean could explain, he felt his pocket watch vibrating.He smacked his forehead._"Oh, crap!Not now!"_

1.) This is a manga reference.Serena never learned to write _kanji_, which is a form of Japanese writing.

   [1]: mailto:lady_aisheteru@hotmail.com



	4. Houston, We Have a Problem

Boys Don't Cry

**Boys Don't Cry**

_By [Lady Aishiteru][1]_

Chapter 3 Houston, We Have a Problem

Sean felt the vibrations in his pocket become more urgent.He felt like smacking his forehead; this couldn't have come at a worse time.

"Hey, Darien, you go on without me.I'll catch up to you," said Sean.

"But you don't know where study group is," countered Darien.

"Tell me the room number.I'll find it," Sean said, apparently unruffled.

"It's in the library.See you there."

"Right," Sean said, waving him off as he walked away.Once outside of Azabu's double doors, Sean took off into a dead run.Once he found an empty alleyway, he took out his pocket watch, and then opened it.He gazed at the small, gleaming white crystal that was inside for a moment, then held it above his head and yelled "Moon Crystal Power!"In that dark alleyway, the Azabu school uniform fell away and was replaced by a small, body hugging outfit.

_"Geez,"_ thought Serena, brushing a strand of hair off her shoulder._"This gender-bending is exhausting!"_Still, it felt good to be Sailor Moon again, she reflected as her instincts led her to the attack.It was nice to feel the wind blowing through her hair, to have the weight of her twin odangos on her head, and to hear her boots clatter against the pavement.

Her feet took her to a small building in downtown Tokyo._"That's the new drug store that opened yesterday,"_ thought Serena.She shook her head.Last time, it had been a new jewelery store, the time before that, a recently built restaurant.Couldn't the Dark Moon come up with an _original_ plan?

She pushed open the door, trying her best to look dynamic."Freeze, ugly!" she yelled.

At first, Sailor Moon couldn't see anything except thick, cold fog._"Mercury's attack,"_ she thought.As the fog cleared, she saw a huge, ugly monster that could only be described as a "thing."The thing was shaped like a giant pill bottle, with a pill for its head and syringes as arms and legs.It froze momentarily not knowing what to make of this new development.Mercury was standing behind it, and Mars stood on its right, her hands held together in preparation for her fireball.Venus was twelve feet in front of it, muscles tensed and ready to pounce. "I am Droido Placebus.What's it to you, Moon Brat?" the monster sneered.

"You terrorize people in need of medicine who just want to be healthy.This won't be forgiven.In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!"

"Sailor Moon!" yelled Jupiter, who had just broken down the door in her haste to get inside.

"Is it really you?" asked Mars.

"It's been awhile," said Mercury.

"I've missed you, girl," said Venus.

"There's no time for that!" yelled Sailor Moon impatiently.The other four senshi gasped; they weren't used to their leader being so harsh.She positioned herself at a forty-five degree angle in front of Placebus.She raised her scepter high and yelled"Moon princess elimination!"Moments later, the creature was vaporized.

Seeing that the monstrosity had been taken care of, Sailor Moon pivoted on her heel and started to walk away.As much as she wanted to see her friends, she just wasn't ready to face them yet.

"Hey, wait a minute," said Jupiter, putting her hands on her hips."Where are you going?"

Sailor Moon stopped in her tracks.With all the strength she could muster, she grit out "Don't follow me."

"Don't shut us out, Sailor Moon," said Mercury.

"Is this about…_him_?" asked Venus.

"Ve-NUS!" said Mars, elbowing her in the ribs.

Sailor Moon turned around."Yeah.Don't worry about me.I'll be fine.I know what I'm doing."With that, she ran down the street in search of an alleyway.She was grateful that she was in the city, where alleys were plentiful.Once in the alley, she de-transformed.She looked at the setting sun, and judging by the lengthening shadows, study group had long since ended.

It wasn't long before she ran into a tall, hard object. _(AN: I'll give you three guesses.)_"Serena," he breathed.

_"DAMMIT!" _thought Serena.She cursed herself mentally for having forgotten to use the Luna pen.Wanting to look up, but fearing an icy glare, Serena looked down at the ground, saying only, "Darien."

Acting against every instinct, Serena pushed past him."Excuse me.I must be going."

Darien could only watch, his pulse pounding in his ears, as Serena sprinted away into the sunset.Every bone in his body told him to go after her, take her in his arms and whisk her away, but he didn't.It took all of his willpower to plant his feet in the asphalt, watching her walking, no, _running_, away.Away from him.

It was hard for Serena to see past the tears that blurred her vision.Still, she ran, praying that he wouldn't follow her but wishing he would.She went into the elevator, thankful that it was empty.She had to become Sean again, for the apartment was in his name.Serena raised the Luna pen into the air and said, "Make me into Sean Baker."The command was whispered, but obeyed just the same.Her small body stretched upwards, gaining muscle, filling out the forgotten uniform.

Sean shook his blazer and stepped off the elevator.As casually as possible, he took his keys out of his pocket and slipped into the apartment.He let out a huge breath and de-transformed.

Barely able to stand by her own power, Serena sank to her knees on the carpet, emotionally and physically exhausted. Serena walked over to the bathroom, dragging her feet the whole way.She turned the tap until it produced lukewarm water, then poured in her favorite bubble bath.As the bubbles rose, she immersed herself in the tepid, foamy waters.She sighed; it had been a very long day.

   [1]: mailto:lady_aisheteru@hotmail.com



	5. Seeing Double

Chapter 4

Chapter 4 Seeing Double 

Serena was awoken from her unpleasant dreams by an equally obnoxious sound – her alarm clock.She covered her ears, but it was no use.She had set the thing to "Foghorn," which meant it got very loud, very fast.Sighing, she left the sanctity of her warm, cozy bedcovers and mentally steeled herself for the day ahead.

She stripped down to her birthday suit and turned on the shower, and then she waited for the waters to warm.She smiled a bit as the tepid waters cascaded down her weary back, easing some of the tension from her muscles.She grabbed her loofah, squeezed some body soap into it, and worked it into a white lather.Starting with her arms, she scrubbed clean every part of her body she could reach.She would have shaved her legs, but since she had been Sean most of the time in public, she didn't bother.At least there was one saving grace to all of this deception.

When she had finished, she wrapped a warm towel around herself and took a deep breath.It felt so good to come out of the shower in the morning.She felt clean, refreshed, at least in body.Her mind, however, was anything but relaxed.

She kept thinking about her encounter with Darien that day.She had wanted to see him, as Serena, so badly that she could taste it.She was scared, though; that instead of a warm greeting, she would get more of the same treatment she had received when he had dumped her – cold, callous indifference.The very thought made her shiver.Still, she couldn't help but wonder…did he miss her?Did he think about her, at all?Lord knew that she thought about him.He was never far from her mind, in the waking world as well as her dreams.

There had been something about his voice that day – a hidden longing, suppressed desire.It gave her a small shred of hope, that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way too.The same pain, the same sadness, the same tearing of the heart.Misery hated being alone, and that in it of itself was strange to Serena, because she was unhappy due to her loneliness.Still, she had the feeling that she was in good company, whether Darien knew it or not.

She carefully packed her books, and was relieved that she didn't have to rush out of the door like a maniac, as in the old days.While Serena Tsukino would have been late for her own funeral, Sean Baker was punctual to a "T."She took out her Luna pen, making the final preparation for the day ahead, and left the apartment as Sean Baker.

Whistling a nameless tune, Sean sauntered out of the apartment, en route to the local coffee shop.One thing remained the same between the two personas – both hated coffee.Sean came to the coffee shop for a nice, hot cocoa to start off the day.Maybe he would see Darien there again; he had been hanging around that area many mornings of late.

Sean pondered this anomaly, listening to the sounds of an awakening city and watching the sunrise as he walked.Yes, he _had_ been acting strange lately, very strange.It would be dangerous to approach the subject though, because Darien had only known Sean Baker for a few weeks.Using insights gained as Serena Tsukino would jeopardize everything he had worked for these past few months.Sean fought the urge to stop and throw a tantrum right then and there, banging his hands and feet against the concrete.Instead, he massaged his temples; all of these damned paradoxes were giving him a headache.The mental image of a grown man throwing a fit was amusing, though, and Sean couldn't resist a tiny chuckle.

"What's so funny?" asked a familiar voice.

"Hey, Darien," replied Sean, looking at his smiling companion."I was thinking of an improv sketch I saw recently," he said, reasoning that it wasn't _too_ far of a stretch.

"Ah.Would you like to grab a bite to eat before school?"

"Sure," said Sean, smiling as they entered the Coffee Shoppe."But you're buying."

"Why would I do that?" asked Darien, arching a perfectly shaped eyebrow."Are you low on cash or something?"

"Yeah, I'm seriously lacking in yen.My paycheck doesn't come by until next Friday.No more satellite until then.I'm scraping by with basic cable," quipped Sean.

"Ouch," said Darien.

"How can I help you?" asked a tall, blonde cashier.

"One cappuccino, please," said Darien, slapping some yen on the counter.

"I'll have a hot cocoa," said Sean, parting with some of his own money.

"Why is it that you never drink anything with coffee in it?" asked Darien.

"Um, sir?" interrupted the cashier."We haven't started the cocoa yet.It will take a few minutes.Would you like me to bring it over to your table?"

Sean glanced at his watch, then nodded."Okay."

"Great.That will be five hundred yen for the cappuccino, and four hundred and fity yen for the cocoa.Would either of you like whipped cream?"

"Surprise me," said Sean, smiling.

"And for you?" she asked Darien.

"No, thank you." 

"Sean, I think she likes you," said Darien, elbowing Sean in the ribs.

"Her?She's not my type.," said Sean, pulling out a chair.

"What is your type, exactly?" asked Darien."I see women look at you all the time, but you never seem to pay them any attention.That's no way to get a girlfriend."

"Well, I guess I prefer silky black hair, hard muscles, a tight butt and deep, blue eyes I could get lost in," said Sean, smiling, a faraway look in his eyes."And a sense of mystery wouldn't hurt, either."

"Hn.That's kind of strange for a woman," said Darien."I don't know that many hard bodied females."

Sean nearly cringed.He had just described Darien, in detail.Desperately hoping that Darien was as oblivious as most men around him, he said, "I guess I meant that I like women who work out."

"Well, I do know this one girl.She lives over at the temple on Cherry Hill.She's a real spitfire, but a looker.If I could get her to talk to me, maybe I could set you up."

Sean made a face, knowing exactly who Darien was talking about."Nah.Besides, I don't see _you_ with anyone." _"Thank God,"_ he thought.

Darien sat in stony silence for a minute, which worried Sean."Sir?Your cocoa," said the cashier.

"Thanks," Sean said curtly."Here's a tip," he said, fishing in his pocket for some yen.

"I don't want a tip," said the cashier, shuffling her feet."I'd gladly settle for your phone number."

"Trust me," mumbled Sean, pulling out some yen. "You'd do better with the money."

"Thanks," said the cashier, a little hurt.She pocketed the yen and scurried back to the register.

"Well, Darien, what's _your_ type?What do you look for in a woman, I mean," Sean said, hoping to break up the awkward atmosphere.

"Me?" he asked, finally breaking the silence."It doesn't matter.Actually, I had a girlfriend once."

"What was she like?" asked Sean.

"She had long, blonde hair, and curious, blue eyes the color of the sky.She wore her hair in the strangest way, kind of like spaghetti and meatballs.She was beautiful, though, outside and in, and full of energy.She just had to look at you, and you'd feel special."

Sean smiled, happy with the flattering profile."She sounds good.What's her name?"

Darien gave him a Look."I thought blondes weren't your type," he scoffed.

"I didn't say I was interested," said Sean."I just wanted to know her name, that's all."

Darien looked at his watch, then got up and pushed his chair in."Well, it's getting late.We'd better get going."

"Right."Although Sean had a pretty good guess as to the identity of this mystery woman, he wasn't sure if he should pry any further.

They were quiet for a while, their footsteps in synch on the slowly warming pavement."I had to break up with her," Darien finally said.Sean kept silent, wanting to hear the rest from him."I…don't even know why anymore.I just had this…feeling-"

"Hey, long time no see!"

"Oh, hi, Andrew," said Sean as breezily as possible._"Go away, you idiot!SCRAM!"_ Sean's mind screamed.But, seeing as how Andrew was unskilled at telepathy, he stood right in front of them, not moving an inch.

"How's it going?"

"Can't complain," said Darien, smiling weakly.

"Well," he said, looking at where they had come from."I finally see where you've been getting your morning java.I knew you couldn't resist the lure of the bean."

"Shut up, Andrew," said Darien.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone," said Sean."You have some catching up to do. See you at school, Darien!" With that, he turned around and waved them off.Once his back was turned, Sean grumbled under his breath.The urge to strangle Andrew had never been so strong.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sean headed to his locker, eager to cram in a quick snack in between classes.He glanced at his schedule he had taped onto the inside of the locker door.It looked like he had English literature next period.He smiled a little.He used to hate English, but lately, he had really been getting into it.Especially now, that the class was doing poetry.It gave him a chance to put his thoughts down on paper, and escape from his tumultuous emotions.

He started to walk over to his seat, but something made him do a double take."Darien?"

"That's Mr. Shields to you, Baker," he said, winking."I'm the substitute teacher today."

"Ah."

"Now get to your seat," he said."You're tardy."

Sean barely resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at his "teacher," but that was something Serena would have done."Class, today, we will be writing poetry.You have the option of choosing either a metaphor, or a cliché.You will read your work aloud when you are finished.You may begin now." 

Sean tapped his pencil on his desk for a moment, wondering what to write about.In a random burst of inspiration, the words came out.Hastily, he scrawled on his paper.

"Time's up.We'll go in alphabetical order.Baker.You're up."

Sean cleared his throat, and then he spoke."I chose a metaphor-based poem.I call this 'Breakup.'"

_I turn the knob,_

_To hot, cold, lukewarm,_

_Step in, watch the water,_

_Cascade down my scalp,_

_Past my waist,_

_To my ankles,_

_A flesh-colored waterfall._

_ _

_My hands pass through my hair,_

_Lather, rinse, repeat,_

_The bubbles fade away._

_ _

_First I scrub my back,_

_Making sure to get in between_

_My shoulder blades,_

_Then a flash of lathered purple scrubber_

_Passes over me in circular motions,_

_I make sure to remember_

_Under my arms,_

_Where stale odors linger,_

_Like repressed memories._

_ _

_I listen to the last words,_

_Of a song on the bathroom radio,_

_Turn off the water,_

_And watch the suds_

_Swirling, counter-clockwise,_

_A frothy whirlpool,_

_Down the drain._

_ _

"That was excellent, Baker.Now, Benning, you're up."

Each of his classmates read their poems one by one, but Sean honestly wasn't paying any attention.He was a bit embarrassed that he had used something as revealing as a shower as his metaphor, and his cheeks were flushed until the bell rang.

"Baker, could I see you for a moment?"

Sean gulped the air nervously.Was he in trouble? 

"Yes, Mr. Sheilds?" Feeling light-headed, Sean struggled to stay standing.

"You can call me Darien now.I won't tell."

"I'm sworn to secrecy.What's up?"

"I wrote my own poem, as a warm-up for the lesson.I was wondering if you would read it and tell me what you think, as a critique," said Darien, pushing up his reading glasses a bit.

"Sure," said Sean.Darien handed him the slip of paper, and Sean stood there for a moment, holding the poem.The room went in and out of focus, and everything began to spin.

"Sean, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine…I'm just seeing two of you right now," he mumbled.The twin Dariens merged into one, then split up again, this time into three.He reached into his pocket and ran his fingers over the smooth, cold surface of the Luna Pen.It was the last thing he did before he lost consciousness.

Serena woke up the next morning with a start, not knowing where on earth she was.After a few moments, her vision began to clear.Her eyes took in the big screen TV, as well as the rest of a state of the art entertainment system, complete with a VCR, DVD and surround sound.The floors were a polished mahogany, covered by an expensive, Turkish rug.The couch she was laying on was black leather, and a familiar scent hung in the air.

"I was wondering when you'd wake up, Serena."

Her eyes widened in terror, and her heart caught in her throat.Serena knew exactly where she was.Darien's apartment.


	6. Side Note

Hi all,

I'm really surprised by the amount of responses I've received from "Boys Don't Cry," even more so that most of them were good. :) Heck...I don't even remember why I started it...I guess I wanted to take a swing at the old clichéd R season break-up genre. After starting "Scorpion," my FY story, a particularly persistent angst demon had taken residence in my brain, forcing me to write depressing stories. This one turned out better than I expected, even though not _exactly_ as I had originally intended.

I was worried that the dialogue between Sean and Darien would seem a little too female...as my pen name implies, I'm not a guy, and I don't spend much time listening to them talk, and even less time actually UNDERSTANDING it. I have the tendency to turn guys into oversexed girls in my fanfics...I don't want to misrepresent the male population, especially if there are any guys out there that actually READ my fics. Heh.

I wrote all the poetry in "Boys Don't Cry". The story behind "Break Up" begins with an assignment given in my Creative Writing class last semester. I received a good grade on it, and I think that it really expresses what Serena was feeling. Basically, the whole poem is a metaphor for its title - breaking up. Part of the whole "breaking up" process is trying to forget the person that you broke up with - like trying to wash the garlic smell out of your hands after cooking some Italian. You take all of the bad memories and try to flush them down the drain, leaving a clean slate._Lady A shakes her head...why is it that when I try to explain a metaphor, I wind up using another metaphor? Eeesh!_

The other poem, "Boys Don't Cry," is something I wrote especially for this story. The anime has its faults, like being famous for portraying Darien as an insensitive clod, for example. However, it managed to clue the viewer in to Darien's inner turmoil. Before he was with Serena, he laughed at her, teased her, but never showed his true feelings. When he lost Serena, he lost a part of himself. This is evidenced in the scene where he cried over her, where he's standing over the bridge and a single teardrop falls on his helmet. It must have taken a LOT of pain for him to show his emotions like that. I wanted to express what Darien might have been feeling; it's easy for the viewer to hate Darien for what he did to Serena by dumping her. Few people realize that it was killing him, too.

For those of you who actually *READ* my rambling author's note, kudos for you! As for the _rest_ of you..._uses patented Heero Yuy Death Glare __TM_ Just kidding. Enjoy the fic!

~*~_[Lady Aishiteru][1]_

   [1]: mailto:lady_aisheteru@hotmail.com



	7. All I Ever Wanted

Boys Don't Cry

Boys Don't Cry

By [Lady Aishiteru][1]

Chapter 5  
All I Ever Really Wanted

_ _

_"Serena?Oh no!"_Her pulse quickening, she felt the back of her head and gasped – instead of close cropped, gelled back hair, two odangos graced the top of her head.She lifted the collar of her shirt and looked under, and just as she was almost certain that –

"Don't _do_ that!" exclaimed Darien.

"Gomen, I didn't know I had an audience," Serena snapped, pulling up her collar."What are you doing watching me peek under my own shirt anyways?"

"Actually, that's my shirt," said Darien."And those are my boxers, in case you were curious."

Wondering what the hell he was going on about, Serena pushed the blanket off her body so she could see for herself.Sure enough, she was wearing an oversized sweatshirt and polka-dotted boxer shorts.She noted that she felt a little freer up top and…uh-oh… 

Serena thought back to yesterday morning, then it hit her.She had forgotten to put on underwear before she used the Luna Pen.She immediately crossed her arms over her chest in a belated attempt at modesty.Blushing furiously, she opened her mouth, and then closed it again, looking like a fish out of water.It was _very_ hard to yell at someone who had seen her in her birthday suit.

"So I was –"

"Completely naked."

"Oh…MAN!" she moaned."So you saw…_everything?_"

"Yeah, and it was VERY hard to keep the 5th period English lit class out of the room, believe me."

"Geez, I had no idea you had a class full of hentais," Serena said.

"Well, we ARE guys, Serena.Besides, I'm not the only one who has seen a naked member of the opposite sex!I mean…you…and me…we…went to the…BATHROOM together!We even shared a gym locker, for chrissake!How much time did YOU spend ogling my…_member?_"

"Oh, come on, Darien.Don't flatter yourself," shot back Serena."You know me."

He took a fancy pen out of his pocket and ran his finger along the sides."Is this what you used to deceive me?I have to admit, Serena, you had me fooled pretty well."When she didn't respond, he continued."I've seen some pretty good tricks, but you sure as hell take the cake.Did you even think of your family?Of Rini?Or even the Scouts?"

"Stop it, Darien," said Serena, looking him straight in the eye.It took all of her strength not to break down and cry, and even more not to bolt out the door."I…had my reasons.Hurting you had nothing to do with it."

"Then…what _did_ you want, Serena?" Darien asked, his voice dangerously low.

"I wanted to be near you. I wanted to see your smile, to hear you laugh, even if it wasn't at me.I wanted…_you_, Darien.Even if we can't be together as soul mates, I…didn't want you to hate me, like you do now.I just wanted to know…why."

"And do you now?" he asked, taking two steps closer.

Sadly, Serena shook her head."No."

He took the poem he had given her alter ego the previous day out of his pocket.

"Darien, what are you doing?This is no time for poetry."

"Read it," he whispered.

She smoothed the creases out of the page, and then held it to the morning light.

_Boys Don't Cry_

_By Darien Shields _

_ _

_I show a solitary image,_

_The mask of the twilight hero,_

_A hero must keep his chin up,_

_His head held high,_

_Deny the reason he wants to die,_

_Why he buries his feelings deep inside,_

_Because everyone knows that_

_Boys don't cry._

_ _

_You can punch me in the gut,_

_You can bring me to my knees,_

_You can prick me 'till I bleed,_

_Steal my breath so I can't breathe._

_Go ahead and try,_

_You won't hear so much as a sigh,_

_Rules passed down from our fathers tell us_

_Boys don't cry._

_ _

_It haunts my nights,_

_Broken dreams and broken crystal,_

_Shatter in the eardrums of my mind._

_Every night, I see her die,_

_And I have failed to protect her,_

_My love, my life,_

_I have failed her again._

_I wake up, drowning in my sweat,_

_But I choke back my tears,_

_Because boys don't cry._

_ _

_As I watch my heart get broken,_

_See her face,_

_Wish I had spoken,_

_Words I can't quite seem to say,_

_No matter where I go today,_

_What I do, or how I stray,_

_I must keep this secret 'till I die,_

_Even though I am dead inside,_

_Because I was told that_

_Boys don't cry._

_ _

_Oceans are wet,_

_Beaches are dry,_

_Children dream,_

_Lovers sigh,_

_There is a hidden truth_

_I can no longer deny,_

_Age old sayings,_

_Are nothing but lies,_

_For my heart knows that_

_Boys do cry._

Serena took a few moments to let the impact of the words wear down."Wow," she finally said."So…the guy in the poem…that's you, right?"

"Right."

"But what about the dream?'Broken glass and broken crystal?'You had 'failed to protect her again?' What does that mean?"

"I…have been having bad dreams, Serena.But they weren't just dreams.They felt almost like-"

"Visions?"

"Yeah.And there was this voice…it said I had to stay away from you, or else…I'd lose you, Serena."

So that was it.All this time, he had been trying to protect her."Why couldn't we have faced it together?"

"Because you would have died."

"Don't you get it, Darien?" she said, finally allowing the tears to flow."Without you, I might as well _be_ dead.Who cares about bad dreams...about the past…about the future?"She took his hands, and pulled them to her shoulders.

"All I know is right now, and right now, I only want to be with you."She dragged his unresisting face towards her lips.

"Serena, no," he said, his lips brushing hers, awakening long suppressed desires."We can't…I can't…do thi-."

His protests were silenced as she gave him quick peck on the lips."Something to remember me by, my love," Serena said.She drew her head back and ducked out, silently exiting the apartment.

Stunned, Darien licked his lips, tasting the flavor that was distinctly Serena.He felt a narrow rivulet roll down his cheek.He sopped it up with his index finger and put it on his tongue.It was salty, like a teardrop…

It only took him two seconds to make up his mind, but by the time he reached the elevator, Serena was already gone.

   [1]: mailto:lady_aisheteru@hotmail.com



	8. A Rose Never Smelled So Sweet

Chapter 6

Boys Don't Cry

By [Lady Aishiteru][1]

Chapter 6  
A Rose Never Smelled So Sweet

Serena ran as fast as she could towards the nearest bridge.Once there, she leaned over the railing and took a long, hard look at the sure to be frigid waters.It was over a hundred-foot drop, which was more than enough to destroy almost anything that crashed on the water's surface on impact.That which was not instantly torn apart soon sunk underneath the waves, never to be heard from again.

Reaching into her pocket, she took out the Luna pen, so she could look at it one more time.Her face was stony; she had long since exhausted her supply of tears.She was glad that it was still early in the morning; that way, there would be no witnesses.Sighing, she drew her arm over her head, stepped back…

"Serena, NO!Don't do it!" cried a voice that came from ankle level.

"Luna!" Serena squealed.She hoisted the hapless cat over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes."I've missed you so much!"She buried her head in her cat's fur, not really caring that she was getting black cat hairs all over her clothes.

Luna hopped off of her shoulders and proceeded to yell at Serena from the ground. "Where in the universe have you been?Everyone's been worried sick about you."

"Come on, Luna, you're looking at me like I was going to jump," Serena exclaimed, laughing nervously.

"You weren't?" she asked, blinking.

"Of course not."

"Then what, in heaven's name, were you doing standing over the Tokyo Bay Bridge at six o'clock in the morning?"

"I was going to throw this damned thing over.It's brought me nothing but trouble."

"Seree-NA!You can't do that!"

"Watch me," Serena said defiantly.She drew back her arm, and this time, the pen sailed across the railing, then plummeted towards the forbidding waters below.

"I can't BELIEVE you just did that!What has gotten into you lately?"

"A little of this, a little of that," Serena said, smiling mysteriously.

Luna blinked again, which was very rare for a cat, especially Luna.The scouts were right.Serena had changed, a lot.She saw the look in her charge's eyes, a combination of steely determination and desperation.Her shoulders stooped a little, as if she had been carrying a lot of weight around."Well, you'd better come home," Luna said.

Despite herself, Serena smiled wistfully.She knew she'd have a lot of explaining to do, especially to her parents, but she'd rather face the music at home than wander the streets by herself.Home: that word held a lot of significance to her.She even missed her miserable, rotten, demon spawn of a younger brother known as Sammy."Okay.Let's go."

Serena and Luna ran as fast as they could, the fear building up in Serena's mind, increasing her already rapid pulse.What on earth would she say to her parents?How was she going to explain this one?She couldn't tell them the truth, as much as she wanted to, because that would mean revealing herself as Sailor Moon.She briefly considered taking up smoking, but decided against it.Just because she was miserable in mind didn't mean her body had to join in.

She knocked on the door, timidly at first.A violet haired woman answered the door. "S-serena?Is it really you?"

She looked at her mom, and something cracked inside.Her mother had large, dark bags under her watery eyes, probably from many sleepless nights.There were many new gray hairs that had sprouted around her temples, joined by premature wrinkles."Yeah, Mom.It's me."

Overcome with her emotions, Mrs. Ilene Tsukino grabbed her daughter in a fierce bear hug."M-my daughter!You're finally home."Serena's body shook as her mother's sobs grew louder, but she didn't mind.She was crying, too.

"Hold on, honey.I'll get your father," said Ilene.

"O-okay," said Serena.Knowing her father's strict ways, she prayed that her inevitable death would be swift and painless.

"Serena!Ilene, am I dreaming?"

This went on for ages, as one by one, the Tsukino clan descended down the stairs to greet their wayward family member.Even Sammy was crying tears of joy, in between threats that Serena would never breathe a word of this to anyone.Rini was strangely absent, and Serena worried that the little spore had followed in her footsteps…or worse…

~~*~*~*~*~*~~

Mina was having the most wonderful dream.She was dancing a slow waltz with a tall, well built man with long, luxurious platinum locks.Her head rested on the smooth fabric covering his muscular chest, and he smelled like spices and leather.She gazed into his green eyes and smiled.The man opened his mouth and uttered the words Mina had longed to hear – 

"Meow!"

"What? You're not making sense, my love.'Meow?'I mean, what is that?"

Malachite repeated himself, this time louder."Meowwwww!"

"Grrr!Make sense, dammit!" she yelled, shaking her love's shoulders.

Suddenly, Malachite's beautiful, white hair morphed into soft, white fur, and his head looked exactly like – 

"ARTE-MIS!" Mina screamed at her cat.Her arms erupted from under her covers and grabbed his torso. "What the heck is wrong with you?"

Artemis shook his head, his sensitive feline ears ringing from the impact."Mina, let me go!It's important!"

"It's Sunday!The one day I get to sleep IN!What in God's name could be so important that you woke me up from a GREAT dream at 6:30 in the frickin' morning!"

"Aphaxysad," said Artemis.

"SPEAK UP!" she said, shaking Artemis.

"Se-Re-Na I-S Ba-ack!" he said, his voice distorted from the quick, violent jerks.

"She's back?!Geez, Artemis, why didn't you tell me?" she said, quickly releasing him.

In response, Artemis merely shook his head and smoothed out his ruffled fur."Luna just told me."

"What, do you have telepathy or something?"

"No, just the Internet."

At this, Mina's face hit the ground."Sheesh, Artemis!Next thing I know, you'll learn to use the can opener!Then we'll all be in serious trouble!"

Artemis simply turned around and curled up into a ball."The things I have to put up with around here," he mumbled into his fur as Mina scrambled around the room, frantically searching for the ever-elusive matching sock.

~~*~*~*~*~*~~

At six forty-five, Rini was hiding under her covers.It had been forty-five minutes, and the loud noises hadn't gone away.There was pounding on the stairs, shrill, frantic voices and lots of yelling. "If I just stay here, the Dark Moon will never find me," she mumbled to Luna P.Using the best logic a five year old could come up with on such short notice, she reasoned that if she couldn't see them, then they couldn't see her.

It was about as useful as an ostrich sticking her head under the sand.Inquisitive, blue eyes peered into her frightened, maroon orbs.So Rini did the only thing she could do in a situation like this.She bawled her eyes out.Her breaths came and went as ragged, frightened sobs.

"Shhh…it's okay, sweetie.It's only me," said a soothing voice, one Rini hadn't heard in ages."D-arien?"

Darien nodded, and Rini scurried out from under the covers."I missed you!" she squealed.

"I missed you too, punkin.Listen, have you seen Serena?"At this, Rini started crying again."I'm sorry.I just saw her at my apartment, and I wanted to know if she had come back here."

"N-no, Darien.I haven't s-seen her," she sniffled into his shirt.

Someone opened the door, and the knob crashed loudly on the opposite wall.Both of them jumped.

Rini rubbed her eyes in amazement."Serena?"

"Rini!" shrieked Serena.

Rini grabbed the older girl in a bear hug, incapacitating Serena from her knees down."It's okay. I'm here, and I'll never leave again."

Rini drew back her head."Promise?"

"Promise."

"Why'd you have to go, anyways?" asked Rini."Do you hate me that much?"

Serena's body stiffened.Deep down, she knew someone would ask her that question eventually; but she didn't anticipate answering it right then.She lifted Rini off the ground and hugged her tight."I could never, ever hate you. It's a long story, and I'll tell you when you're older."

"Okay."

Darien cleared his throat."Um…I guess I'll leave you two alone now."

"But you just said you wanted to see Serena," Rini pointed out.

"Did I say that?Ha ha, are you sure you're not hearing things?" Darien said, running his hands through his hair nervously.

"Darien!" Rini said, turning around slightly to glare at him.

Serena deposited the girl on the floor."It's okay, honey.We'll only be a moment."

"You sure?" asked Rini, eyeing Serena suspiciously.

Serena nodded.

"Okay, but you had BETTER be here when I get back!" With that, Rini trounced out the door.

"She sure does have a lot of spirit," said Darien.

"Yeah," mused Serena."Kind of makes you wonder where she got it from.Anyways, you wanted to see me?" she asked, her tone edging on hopeful.

"Yeah.Um, about that poem…"

"Don't worry.I won't show it to anyone," Serena said, making a motion of zipping her lips.

"It's not that, Serena.It's about what it said, about us."

"I thought there was no 'us,'" Serena said, with heavy emphasis on the last word.

"I thought so, too.You know, it's crazy, this thing between us.No matter what I do, I can't escape you."

Serena opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, but Darien placed his hand over it, cutting the flow of whatever apologies would come out.

"You never gave up on me, Serena.Not even when it would cost you your life."He paused, stepping back and taking in a shaky breath."I've…never known that kind of love."Serena nodded, knowing what that admission had cost him. "You don't know how much I wanted to hold you in my arms, to kiss away your tears and take away your sadness.But I can't.Even being this close to you, it's dangerous."

Serena nodded, understanding completely."Before I became Sean…I thought, well, why can't we face this together?I thought you'd changed back into that creep I loved to throw things at. I think I understand you a little better now, though.This has been hard on both of us.I won't ask anything more of you. Whenever you're ready, I'll be here, waiting.I won't run away again, because I could never get rid of you, either."

Darien nodded, drawing something out of his sleeve.He could spend eternity with this woman and never know her depths."Goodbye, Serena," he said.He pivoted on his heel and left.

Serena smiled, deeply inhaling her new rose.A flower had never smelled as sweet as that one.

Lady A: Hn…that didn't come out as I thought it would.I will leave you all with the two words I know I have been dying to type *grins evilly*

~*~THE END~*~

   [1]: mailto:lady_aisheteru@hotmail.com



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